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© 1996 by Rachelle Megan Ditzian. All Rights Reserved.
NOTE: I take no responsibility for people who are actually foolish enough to take Aunt Annie's advice. Just remember that Aunt Annie is a twit and you will be too if you follow her advice. That was a word to the wise...
Dear Aunt Annie:
After 3 years single, I have a wonderful new girlfriend. Trouble is,
she's moving like WAY too fast.
We've been together fewer than 3 months
and she
already has ideas for what she wants us to do on our first WEDDING
anniversary! (Really.) I'm 30 and she's 28. I like her alot but it's just
a BIT Fatal Attraction-y . . .
Dear Humble,
I have the perfect background to answer this one of course because all my romances go smoothly and without flaw. So here are my wonderful words of wisdom. Brace yourself!
The thing about this society these days is that people are supposed to get married. I am not saying it is right or wrong or that I personally agree or disagree with it. That's a whole other web page. What I AM saying is that there is a real cultural push to get married. This push is ESPECIALLY strong if you are a woman. And it gets stronger as you approach your 30's.
Also, it gets harder and harder to meet people (usually) as you get older. So, if you think about it, considering that you really like her and she really likes you, it seems like the most natural assumption in the world for her to make that this relationship may be headed in the marriage direction. Also, if she knows you just came off a three-year dry spell, then she probably assumes you feel the same way.
My advice to you is first of all to figure out where YOU stand. Do you think you might want to marry this girl one day? Are you against marriage altogether? What do YOU want?
Once you have some CLUE what you want, you sit her down and talk to her about it. Tell her what you want. Tell her where YOU are right now. And let her know that her talk of your anniversary makes you feel uncomfortable since you haven't even known her a year. If you care about her, then this would be a good time to tell her that too.
My guess is that you two probably feel the same way about each other, but she, being raised in a culture that pushes women to go and get married and have babies, interprets these feelings as a prelude to marriage soon whereas you, it seems, do not.
Either way, let her know how you feel and talk to her about it. I think that should help.
Hey, everyone who knows what an expert on affairs of the heart I am, LOOK!!! I'm giving some poor sod a nickel's worth of free advice!!!
Dear Aunt Annie,
I live in a residence hall where everyone is friendly. The
problem is, sometimes a small group of people want to go out and do
something. Then other people who are also friends with them, but in some
cases not as good of friends, feel slighted. I think it's crazy to have
to invite 80 people whenever we go out. It's gotten to the point where
there is a lot of tension in the hall. Can you please tell me how to
make people see that it is just not possible to take everyone
everywhere? Dear Invited or Slighted,
Perhaps you should try REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY... Make your outings such an
unpleasant experience that soon, NOBODY will want to go out with you at
all. Insult people and/or laugh at them. Do embarassing things like
rushing at strangers and saying "BACK! BACK! oh evil one!" and then
laughing maniacally.
If that doesn't appeal, you could try not inviting people, but then
saying it was because of someone else who hates them. For example,
suppose you have a friend named Jessie and a friend named Mary-Jo and you
don't want to invite either of them because they are just hangers-on on
the fringe of your social circle. So Jessie says, "Hey, why didn't you
invite me?" and then YOU say "oh... ummm... you know Mary-Jo?"(Mary-Jo
also wasn't there, but Jessie doesn't know this.)
But seriously, Aunt Annie believes that all gatherings should either be a
free-for-all or they shouldn't. Different people have different kinds of
relationships and that kind of difference is what makes the world go
around. If you listen to your heart, you will learn the truth. You only
need to follow your own guiding light and everything else will follow as
night follows day.
Jessie: yeah.
You: I'm afraid Mary-Jo hates you. She hates you so much she can't stand
to be with you. I wouldn't have let her decide who to invite and who not
to invite, but she has naked pictures of my sister-in-law's second cousin
and she threatened to publish them if I invited you. You know how it is?
Jessie: Yeah. I understand. I should never have doubted you.
There. So you keep the friends and you keep them away!
You will all be glad to know that my advice is free. This page is sponsored by Rachelle... To find out how to sponsor Rachelle, click below...
Send e-mail to Rachelle!!!
Go to the HOMEPAGE
© 1996 by Rachelle Megan Ditzian. All Rights Reserved.